The ABCs of My Important Things

ABCs OF ME, PART I

A is for animals. I have been lucky enough to have been owned by the most amazing dogs! Some are waiting for me at the Rainbow Bridge and two are still with me today. I owned 2 cats, Lucky and Cali, that lived to be 14 and 18, as well as 2 horses, Ozark and Chessie, that lived well into their old age. I don't personally have 2-legged babies of my own, so Aspen and Cooper are definitely what you would call my children. RIP. "We can judge the heart of a man by his treatment of animals." - Immanuel Kant

B is for books. I used to keep my nose buried in a book. At least one every single week! I have too many favorites to even begin to start naming. "That's the thing about books. They let you travel without moving your feet." Jhumpa Lahiri

C is for coffee. Need I say more? It's the Nectar of the Gods and the most popular drink in the world! "I'd rather take coffee than compliments just now." Louisa May Alcott, Little Women

D is for dreams. Dreams written down with a date become goals. Broken down into steps, that goal becomes a plan. Putting the plan into action becomes reality. "You have to decide to pursue your wildest dreams. No matter what they are, no matter how simple or extravagant. No matter if they seem ridiculous to others or maybe even too easy... it doesn't matter. They're your dreams and you're allowed to chase them - not because you are more special or talented or well-connected, but because you are worthy of wanting something more. Because you are more worthy of not letting your past dictate your future." Rachel Hollis, Girl Wash Your Face

E is for excitement. I'm the girl who finds excitement in something every single day. Goals aren't enough to make a dream come true. You have to have goals big enough that make you excited and want to run with them! I'm always grateful where I'm at... but excited about where I'm going! "Without leaps of imagination and dreaming, we lose the excitement of possibilities. Dreaming, after all, is a form of planning." Gloria Steinem

F is for friendship. I've always had a large circle of friends, but my friendships have become richer as I've gotten older. Since then, I've looked for qualities like loyalty, honesty, integrity, empathy, compassion and support... more of the things that really matter. It's taken me awhile to find my village and tribe of women who get that and get ME. We are the village who raise each other up and clap loud AF when one of us succeeds. There are friends I've let go because our interests weren't really aligned anymore. I still love them - but cheer them on from afar. I've learned that, in your gang, it's better to have 4 quarters than 100 pennies - while your circle decreases in size, it increases in value! These are my middle-of-the-night, no-matter-what people. Many of my friendships are just my extended family... the brothers and sisters that *I* got to choose! "Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will ride the bus with you when the limo breaks down." Oprah Winfrey

G is for grief. I've known grief in its many forms and all its stages. For those that I've loved and lost - whether to the heavens or whether to the world. Those people are never forgotten but always respected and cherished. It is the last act of love we can give to those we loved. It is only a passage, but also the price of love. Where there is deep grief, there is great love. Specifically, I think about my nephew and my Paw-Paw, Grandaddy and Granny. But I'm one of the few in my 40s that still has her "Grandmother" and I am SUPER lucky about that! (See what I did there, lol?!) "I'll be seeing you in all the old familiar places that this heart of mine embraces, all day through." Billie Holiday

H is for home. While I'm known to have a free-spirited gypsy soul and I DO love going to new places and seeing new things... I'm also a homebody. I love sitting in the quiet, sometimes with a book and sometimes binge-watching Netflix, surrounded by the comfort of the people I love. "What is home? My definition is 'a safe place', a place where one is free from attack, a place where one experiences secure relationships and affirmation. It's a place where people share and understand each other. Its relationships are nurturing. The people in it do not need to be perfect; instead, they need to be honest, loving, supportive, recognizing a common humanity that makes all of us vulnerable." Gladys Hunt, Honey for a Child's Heart

I is for independence. When I graduated from high school, I was accepted into UNC-Wilmington for Marine Biology. Unfortunately, I was told by my then-boyfriend that if I went, he would break up with me. So I didn't go. What I did do was move out on my own at 18, took on 3 jobs to support myself and pretty much took care of others. That is, up until the past few years. Since then, I've actually gained a true co-partner. I'm proud of myself for being so independent almost 30 years, but it has been nice being with a man where we give 100%-100% to one another. He kids with me that my theme song is, "You Don't Own Me"! Haha! While he doesn't define (or own) me... but he does "inspire" me on a daily basis (oops, I did it again!). "Independence is happiness." Susan B. Anthony

J is for John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt. My oldest nephew - my brother's son. Of course, this isn't his name... but what I used to sing to him (and call him) all of the time. He made me an aunt for the first time. I have never had children, so my brother and sisters' 10 kids are like my own. We lost Jake to an overdose almost 2 years ago. We shared countless milestones: I was there when he was born and spoke to him just before he died. And I was there for all of the in between. I changed his diapers, took him fishing when he was older, let him drive my car when he got his permit, was one of the first he wanted to meet his wife and so, so, SO many other memories - too many to name. He was one of the loves of my life. And I miss him every day. I am extremely grateful for our messages I still have and for giving him my password to iTunes. There are times when I'm playing my music and on comes a Kid Cudi or old country song he downloaded. And I know he's reaching out to tell me he misses me too. (It's also pretty convenient that my sweetie's name also begins with a J!) "The song is ended, but the melody lingers on." Irving Berlin

K is for kaleidoscopes. What's not to love about a kaleidoscope? They've been one of my most favorite things since I was a kid and I had too many of them to count. They remind me of life and symbolize that anything can constantly change. "We are a kaleidoscope of complicated intricacies. A million different facets of light and darkness." K.M. Keeton

L is for laughter. I love people with a sense of humor that leave my cheeks hurting from big ol' belly laughs. It's the BEST medicine and heals a lot of hurts. It's also the secret to a long-lasting relationship! I have pretty deep laugh lines and I wear them proudly. It just means I spend more of my time smiling than frowning for sure. Remember... it takes (approximately) 62 muscles to frown and only 26 to smile! "She is clothed in strength and dignity and laughs without fear of the future." Proverbs 21:35

M is for magic. It was tough for me to decide between magic and music for this one. Which made me think of Stevie Nicks for some reason. While I'm not really a "witchy" woman, I do believe in some version of magic. I believe that there are greater things out there than any we can comprehend! Magic is intricately woven into most of the books I read and my favorite shows and movies (way too many to name!). I love mythology and the idea of magical creatures: mermaids, centaurs, unicorns, phoenix, vampires, werewolves, time travelers... you get the idea! In fact, when I moved into a house that was built in 1900, you better believe I absolutely smudged that sucker! Also... I'm a Christian (although maybe not the 'Holy Roller' type) and if God and Jesus aren't considered magic (by the creation of the earth and all that's on it, as well as raising from the dead after 3 days), I don't know what is. "And above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don't believe in magic will never find it." Roald Dahl

N is for nature. I'm an outdoors girl. I love anything that has to do with being outdoors. I love to hike, ride horses, and we're also big kayakers, so try to spend as much time on the river as possible. We keep a camper in the Blue Ridge mountains and visit as often as we can. There's also a family beach house in Ocean Isle (though I haven't visited in quite awhile). As a Southern girl, I'm a HUGE believer in grounding (ie., walking barefoot - you couldn't keep shoes on me as a kid) and spending at least 20 minutes a day outside, because it's proven that it's good for your health! Because I'm an extroverted empath... this is also especially important for me to relieve everyday stresses. "The earth has music for those that listen." Shakespeare

O is for originality. I have always been pretty authentic and walked to a beat of a different drummer. I've never really "followed the pack" so to speak. I don't see somebody's style and attempt to copy it. I don't see someone's life and decide I want to walk in their previous footsteps. I was a rebellious kid and while it has somewhat lessened in my adult life, it's still with me. My boyfriend also kids with me that, "I do what I want". I giggle at that... but I've worked hard to become who I am. I don't like copycats. I DON'T believe that "imitation is the sincerest form of flattery." Not at all.  My life (whether past, present or future) is MY life. While I've always been authentic in my own way, it took me a really long time to find my voice. I think it was around my mid-thirties - but boy... am I glad I did! I've learned to THRIVE. Not just survive. "Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken." Oscar Wilde.

P is for plentitude. Of love, work, family and community. I am a lucky girl and realize this daily. I am surrounded by the most amazing friends I could ask for, my family and I love beyond belief, I have a great job and although I may not have near the financials I did when I was self-employed, I have the cutest roof over my head and I essentially have enough to live comfortably. And there are positively no words for how blessed I am for the man in my life. Through the years, I have also realized that I am enough and trust in this plentitude. "My cup runneth over." Psalm 23:5

Q is for quotes. As you can tell, I absolutely love quotes. They're inspiring... they move me... and they make me say, "Oh... you too?!"!! I love sassy quotes about strong women... deep love... heartache... becoming a better person... learning new things... life sayings... motivation... happiness... change... strength... family... friendship... nature... like I said, ALL kinds of quotes! "Every man is a quotation of all his ancestors." Ralph Waldo Emerson

R is for respect. People are different. Always remember that. And always remember you're never the smartest person in the room. Know to never judge a book by its cover, because you have no idea what's inside its tattered pages. Respect guides our morals and our manners and it is earned... not given. There should always be respect for boundaries, as well as a respect for yourself. "Show respect even to people who don't deserve it; not as a reflection of their character, but as a reflection of yours." Dave Willis

S is for siblings. My siblings are my world - through thick and thin. We are all extremely different (like butter, sugar, eggs, flour and baking powder)... but together, we make up this big, beautiful cake! "Family isn't an important thing. It's everything." Michael J. Fox

T is for technology. This is another I struggled with as well between this and tattoos. Because I LOVE my tattoos! They're my way I get rid of all the stress I've housed the previous 2-3 years. At any rate, I'm so glad we live in a world where we are all so easily connected. Sometimes... it's a blessing and sometimes... it's a curse. It makes our everyday tasks a little easier, but I really cherish the times that we can completely disconnect. I'm from the generation that learned to play in the streets and record songs off the radio. We only had Intellivision and later Atari. There were no flat screen TVs or cell phones (at least until I was in high school). I miss those days sometimes. We should all do more that makes us forget to check our phones! "I fear the day that technology will surpass our human interaction. The world will have a generation of idiots." Albert Einstein

U is for understanding. You don't have to walk a mile in someone's shoes to understand what they have gone through - nor they, yours. But to truly "get" someone, you must learn to listen and attempt to put yourself in their same situation. It's an art... but not everyone is an artist. "Empathy: The ability to step in the shoes of another person, aiming to understand their feelings and perspectives and to use that understanding to guide our actions." Unknown

V is for va-jay-jay. I'm super happy I'm a Southern woman! Refer to When God Created Woman. "I don't know a weak Southern woman. My mom says if you want something done, then ask a Southern woman." Reese Witherspoon

W is for writing. I've always been a writer of sorts. I wrote a ton of poetry growing up and still have my notebooks full of poems. As an adult, I co-owned a bridal magazine and wrote travel articles, how-to guides, real wedding stories and staple entertainment articles. Until now, it has been 3 years since I've written anything out of the 'norm'. Who knows... maybe this will ignite the writer in me again! "Write drunk, edit sober." Ernest Hemingway

X is for xoxoxo. I end almost every card, note, text, message or email with these letters. It's probably my signature signature. Never miss a chance to tell someone you love them! "The best thing to hold on to in life is each other." Audrey Hepburn

Y is for Yellow. As in, Coldplay. I absolutely love all kinds of music, but this is one of my favorite songs by one of my favorite bands. A bride from one of the very first weddings I planned (in my previous life as a wedding planner) came down the aisle to this song.  It was HER breaking the mold from choosing a "traditional" processional selection that inspired ME to step outside the box and take my event design to the next level. I made a great name for myself and eventually, become one of the most highly sought-after consultants in the Lake Norman and Charlotte areas. This led me to become the co-owner of one of the most beautiful national bridal magazines from the Southeast. While that particular bride has no idea that something so simple was this huge inspiration, I can't think of that song without remembering that "A-ha!" moment and then, to where it led me. Oh... and one of my old bedrooms was painted a butter yellow color too. I liked it a lot. And yellow is just... such a happy color! It automatically reminds me of Van Gogh's Starry Night painting and The Wizard of Oz and of course, sunshine. "The road to the City of Emeralds is paved with yellow brick." L. Frank Baum

Z is for zen. As in, zen yoga. I've just started yoga again after years of going without it. To be honest, I have no idea how I went without it for so long. It's my way to de-stress and is SUPER relaxing. My goal is to do MUCH more of it as soon as we get back from a long vacation. "Yoga is a dance between control and surrender - between pushing and letting go - and when to push and when to let go becomes part of the creative process, part of the open-ended exploration of your being." Joel Kramer

"Here's to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They're not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can't do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do." Apple

Cheers!!

xo